The River

Imagine if you will a mighty river flowing by and I am standing on the bank. Passing by, floating, splashing, serving in the river (Kingdom of God, on earth as it is in heaven) are people. The fulltime ministers are most always in the river, I see them often passing by. I stand on the bank with my home and cars and Harley and boat. The bank is often fun. I jump into the river on Wednesday nights and most Saturdays and Sundays. I splash around on Tuesday night and occasionally at other times. I love it. I feel most content, most at peace in the river. I long for more time in the river with those who pass by. I think God really loves me as much as those who are in the river on a more regular basis. I think God will let me continue just what I am doing as long as I want. I really don’t even think that if I stay on the bank it will really change my relationship with God, He loves me on the bank and he loves me in the river. Many would say to me there is no difference the Kingdom of God is happening on the bank also and I somewhat agree, but why does my spirit feel such a difference? Why does the river feel so much better?
What is keeping me on the bank? Why the discontentment on the bank? What do I have on the bank that is better than being in the river? What could I do to stay in the river longer? I often think and hear that some are “called” to be in the river fulltime and some are not. That may be true. But when I read things like "When Jesus heard this, he said to him, You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.'" Luke 18:22 , I often wonder.
What if the offer to come into the river fulltime or at least often, is really available for everyone? What if I could jump into the river anytime I want and stay as long as I want? What if the only thing keeping me out of the river is me, my things? What if I accepted the fact that from the largest things (homes, Harley’s) to the smallest things (Starbucks Chi Tea Latte’s) all things are paid with this currency, time in the river?
I MUST decide how much time I can bear on the bank; it is my choice, my decision. I currently am living in a way that cost me 40 hours a week on the bank. I think I need a new budget. I might start slow and reduce my time on the bank to 32 hours and then who knows?