Hate Buster's

Hate Buster’s

I have been doing some reading. At the prompting of a friend I took a look at a group called Hate Buster’s of Liberty, MO. they seem to be doing some great work. I also read a blog by my Pastor. He is a man that I trust and am growing in my love for him.
Both of the above actions have brought to mind a struggle that I have been having for years. How do we show the love of Christ to a world and at the same stand for the truth of this same Christ? That last line sounds like two different things and I know that it is not. The love of Jesus is all about truth. The worlds definition of love is not always based on truth, so what the world calls love is not really always love.

To lay out the struggle in some practical ways let me give you some examples. While looking at Hate buster’s website I came across an area with student essay’s from a class the founder of Hate busters teaches or taught at William Jewel. The first essay talks about the student being open to more ideas about faith after taking the class. The feel I get is that maybe this student has walked away with a view of all faith’s being valid. The very format of the class almost seems to push for that conclusion. I admit to a very limited knowledge of the class, all the information I have, I processed from Hate Buster’s website. I also, from the website, get the impression that the founder may be a Christian.

So what is my struggle? I don’t believe that all faiths are valid. I can’t come away from reading scripture and see any way that Christianity can be true if there is any other way to be “saved”. If Christianity was a lie than everything is up for grabs. But if it is true, it is what many claim it is, exclusive, if you have the Son you have life, if you don't you don't. John 3:36 and a host of other verses point to what most Christians understand,
” Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God's wrath remains on him." So if busting hate involves interfaith organizations and even the possibility that we are promoting other faiths or “truths”, as Christians we must be extremely careful. We may join them based on values but not creeds. Let's be sure our alignment with groups does not send the wrong message. We must for example show the love of Jesus to homosexuals and adulterers. But while showing that love make sure we don't somehow validate a lifestyle that is in direct conflict with the teaching's of scripture.

So while I love the idea of busting hate, I wonder if the best way is to in any way lead people to believe a lie. What does light have to do with darkness is a scripture that comes to mind? In reading not only my Pastor but Hate Busters information I on one side so totally agree. But a check in my spirit brings up the struggle again. Yes “the church” has done some nasty crazy things. Things like coming off as being haters of homosexuals. Things like putting homosexuality and abortion as the end all be alls of faith. All the while putting aside the rampant infidelity in the church. The divorce epidemic in the church. Huge headlines of homosexual hating Pastor’s who are, guess what, homosexuals. I know the church condemns itself in many areas, doing the very things that they condemn.

But the truth of scripture is pretty clear, homosexuality is a sin. Just like adultery. Just like lust. Just like a host of other things we don’t seem to mind as much. A huge portion of the world is starving and dying from drinking contaminated water. Jesus was clear about visiting people who were sick being equal to visiting Him. Newsflash, Jesus is starving. Jesus is getting sick drinking bad water. Shouldn't this be a prominent part of a political platform somewhere? Shouldn't conservative Christians be all up in arms about that? I know that some are. But not as many as seem up in arms about prayer in school or abortion or homosexuals.

Let’s get up in arms about everything that God is up in arms about. Come on, there is enough of us to tackle all that needs to be tackled. Let’s do it in a way that makes even the hardest left winger shake their head (in a good way). Let us be as scripture says “sound in speech which is beyond reproach, so that the opponent will be put to shame, having nothing bad to say about us.” Let us not be haters. We can not forget the truth that we came from the same background that so many are in right now. The Truth set us free. The Truth will set them free. But the Truth must be spoken in Love or it is ignored in most cases.

My Christian brothers and sisters, they have plenty to say that is bad about us. We have been percieved as haters. Let's work to fix that image. Let us be Hate Buster's in Jesus name.

The Good ones

This weekend was what I am calling a good one. Bonnie and I "batted 1000", went 3 for 3. We had the perfect storm of things hit us this weekend. We managed to schedule and or be scheduled into 3 things this past Sunday that we HAD to attend. We started the morning around 8 in the morning with a WOW weekend event at our church. W.O.W or church With Out Walls is something we do at Desperation Church every month. We leave the building and go out into the community to serve in the name of Jesus.
That was an 8-12 adventure. We had a very important business meeting at our church at 1:00. Followed by a ministry commitment at 3:00. We took 24 young girls bowling and grilled them some hamburgers and hot dogs. WAY to much for one day if a restful Lord's day was what you had in mind. But when it was all over I felt it was one of the best day's and more of a "Lord's day" then most.
I saw in the morning 18-20 (just on the project we tackled) people come together to work for free so Jesus might be glorified. I met some new brothers and sisters that attend our church but we had never met. I saw people on staff at the place we worked who seemed so thankful for the help. I saw people in the nursing home waving and smiling as we worked. I saw Jesus glorified.
We then went to our meeting. A potentially hot topic that could have caused division in our church. I saw a near unanimous vote. An amazing display of unity and support for our leadership. An amazing demonstration of the belief that God is in control. I saw Jesus Glorified.
Then I raced to our outreach at the bowling alley. I saw people who support our ministry grilling and getting things ready. I saw young girls with backgrounds that make me weep. They laughed and cheered, ate way too much and maybe took a break from the drama that is their life. I thought of all the people who support our ministry Northland Compassion Ministries. Many who don't get to see all the amazing things God is doing with NCM. Yet, they give faithfully, trusting that God is in charge.
I was weary last night. But it was a good weary. I thought of this verse "The sleep of a laborer is sweet, whether he eats little or much, but the abundance of a rich man permits him no sleep."
I want to be a laborer of Jesus. I know that I traditionally bat around .180. Mostly because I don't prepare or trust or whatever. But it's good to have a game or two when it all clicks. When you really feel like, #1 God has placed so many great godly people around you. #2 God is in control.

Paradise and New beginnings

Just got back from what may be a once in a lifetime vacation. We went to Hawaii for 9 days. We had a great time. I think I have felt for a long time while waiting on this vacation that it would mark a new beginning for me. I did not really know what that meant. I still am not totally sure. My wife Bonnie and I have been married for 28 years. This vacation was something I wanted, but really I wanted it for her. She has been so good to me. She deserves more than she got or gets from me. So in my mind this was God allowing me to prosper her, reward her for being so great. But I also felt like there was some theology behind this trip. Questions for the day: Does God want me to be a Francis Chan who gets rid of everything? Should I be "living simply, that others may simply live"?
Or can I work out my salvation in fear and trembling and take what God gives? I believe in tithing. I believe in offerings. Within one year of coming to know Jesus, I felt called to give to His Kingdom with the tithe. My wife faithfully joined me in this adventure. We have given even if it meant having the phone shut off, whatever, we gave and still give. And guess what? It did mean getting the phone shut off. It did mean a Christmas that the kids got very little and to be frank, I was kinda depressed and wondering about some things. But He has proven so much more faithful than I, which I guess should be no surprise.

I have seen a 10 year upward swing of our income. I have seen raises and bonuses when they should not have come. Promotions and blessings that we did not deserve. God has allowed us to have more free money than we have ever known. We don't have any credit card debt but do have payments on toys like my Harley and Boat. We make the payments with ease and money left over. We still give over and above the tithe.
What do you want Lord? Am I doing ok? Is all this your hand of blessing? Are you rewarding us for faithfully giving over a decade? I have seen so many that rob God and admit they rob God. Most are not doing very well financially. I have watched many lose everything including their family. I know the schools of thought on this. I could supply proof texts to support both views. Yes God is prospering us for our obedience it's scriptural. Or no God is not pleased with me spending so much on myself, I should be giving all the excess to the poor.
I personally am torn and go both ways (nothing new here). I read Crazy love and think how cool that would be to live like Francis Chan is calling us to live. But then wonder if he is really sacrificing all that he appears to be sacrificing? Huge book deals and a huge following that can cover all expenses and fly him all over the world to talk about sacrificing everything? I am not bashing Francis I think he is awesome and yes I know he gives away a ton and could have so much more materially than he does. Rick Warren is another example, paying back all the church ever paid him. After making millions on books and speaking engagements. I really think a problem with the church in America is not that we are not all Francis Chan. I think one of the problems is we can't even be faithful in the little things. We can't faithfully tithe. We don't have enough left over to ever even think about an offering. Yet we have every cable channel known to man. Our kids can sign up for every sport and event that comes down the pike. Yet we rob God. Even if you don't believe in the tithe as a requirement, can't you see it as a good place to start? Can't you see that your money really shows your heart? The reason you don't give is not because you can't afford it. The reason you don't give is because you don't see the value of God's Church. It is not worth it to you. With some it shows up in attendance and giving. We are losing 50% of our families to divorce. I believe robbing God and overloading on "stuff" with His resources is one of the problems and the results are as sure as the sun coming up in the morning. The Church is His idea and "your money" is how He finances it's work. If you and I won't be a part of His Church plans, He will not be a part of our "plans".
I really want what God wants for me. I don't have to have the boat or the motorcycle or the trips. I want God to speak loudly. But I know He is heard in a still small voice more often. I also think that God puts us through seasons. Maybe this has been a decade of seeing His hand of blessing. Maybe I grow no more without a season of Him pulling back that hand? Seeing if I want Him or the blessings? It's easy to appear faithful when all is going well or at least when most is going well. I am headed for the time in my life when health "things" pop up for many. I am in an economy where many are losing everything. Will God take me through unscathed?
I would love to be a poster boy for the health and wealth theology. But I don't really believe in what they say or how they say it many times. But yet I do see many promises in scripture for obedience and faithfulness. So many who really seem to be Christians but continually rob God as they go broke and suffer loss in many areas. I know this, whatever season God puts me in, I will continue to give. I also know this, He has given me a wife who loves trips to Hawaii, but would live in a tent with me. I accept your blessings oh Great God. May I never be so rich that I forget you or so poor that I steal and dishonor your Name! It's been a great ride. If it's over and Hawaii was the "peak" Hallelujah!
I have come to know a God who is faithful in the plenty. I am sure He is even more faithful in the season's of want. I pray that my wife and I as Paul will learn to be content in whatever situation He places us in. God you have been more than enough for me!

Is this true? 50%

George Barna recently released another study that makes us sit up and take notice. His
study showed that half the people who attend Protestant churches on a typical Sunday
morning are not Christians. Most of them call themselves Christians but they do not
believe that their hope for eternal life is based on a personal relationship with Jesus and
the belief that He died and rose again from the dead. Barna notes that most of these
notional Christians have been members of the church all their lives. They make up half of
all the people who sit in our churches every Sunday.
Bill Bright, in a similar study, suggests that one half of the people in church every
Sunday are not sure of their salvation. Christian researchers have begun to call this the
7:21 window, refering to Matthew 7:21 which states “Not everyone who says to me,
‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven.” Dr. Phil Fernandes, president of the
Institute of Biblical Defense, challenged, “The primary emphasis of the church should be
leading the lost to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, but first we must lead our own
congregations to Christ.”
In his book Welcoming People the Church Rejects, Rich Nathan claims the conservative
church in America has misidentified the enemy.
“In the first century, the Romans were marching through the streets of Judea. They had
their pagan standards. They were involuntarily conscripting Jewish young men into their
armies, taking Jewish daughters into wealthy Roman homes to serve as servants and
cooks, taking the best of the crops of Judea and they were taking taxes. Jesus never said
the problem of first century life was the Romans. He never said that the problem of first
century life in Judea was the amoral people ruining the culture. He continually said the
problem was that the people of God have failed to act like the people of God. The salt has
lost its saltiness. Today we sincerely believe that the problem of the world is those
immoral people out there, or those folks who don’t share our political views, or those
folks who are ruining our schools, rather than that the people of God are not acting like
the people of God.”
Mike Regele, in his book Robust Church Development, says, “The 21st century church
must displace a traditional Christendom chaplaincy with a church that will become a
missionary enterprise.”
Pastors today need first of all to be missionaries. We need to equip and lead our
congregations in their engagement of the community. Tom Clegg, in Lost In America,
warns, “Any church that doesn’t shift from ‘ministry as status quo’ to ‘ministry as
mission outpost’ will die or become hopelessly irrelevant.”
There is no simple answer or solution — the challenge belongs to each of us as we
minister to the people and communities in which God has placed us. We need to
challenge ourselves, our congregation leaders, and our congregation members to ask,
“How do we become a Great Commission Church? How do we get back on track to
become what God called us to be?
What is your congregation’s vision? Mike Regele says his vision for a church in the 21st
century is a church that proclaims the Gospel of Jesus Christ and:
• is a vital center of life and hope
• is a place where people want to be
• is a place that generates a feeling of life and healing and acceptance
• knows who you are and why you exist
• is a redemptive island of hope for all people in Jesus Christ
• loves their communities and loses themselves in service to the community
• is a place where I can go and feel welcome, safe, and accepted
• is a place for myself, my children and for others.
Who are we trying to reach? The answer is clear. We are trying to reach God’s people:
the people in our community, our neighbor next door, our family members, the people in
our congregation, the people in our small group, anyone God connects us with in our
journey through life. Many people do not know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.
This is our challenge! ■

The "only" thing left

I have been in a very good place lately (The last week). God seeming to speak a little louder. God saying the same thing to my heart, you must have compassion. Then God giving it to me, supernaturally I think. I am not a compassionate person by nature. I don't think I am a hater, just not a natural lover of people. I have a busy life and just don't always get around to the things I should concerning others.
But this last week God has broken my heart for a few others. It's a good thing. But I am coming to realize the "only" thing I can really do is pray. I can throw a few proof texts someones way. I can hand them a few dollars to get by. I can offer a word of encouragement or condolences. But what is any of that worth? The problems in this world today are bigger than me or my help. The marriages are too far gone. The Prodigals too far from home. The debt too big. The disease too far advanced. I think this is from God also, I need Him to do anything. He is our only hope. We need a supernatural God, a God who does miracles. A God who answers our prayers. We also need a heart that understands God's heart as much as that is possible. I am so thankful to have a God who speaks louder to those of us who are hard of hearing.

We must suffer

We must suffer


For to you it has been granted for Christ's sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake,

Thinking about the struggles I see so many of my family in Christ going through lately. Wondering why does it have to be this way? The scriptures are full of verses that say it is coming and even needs to come.
“And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope;”
James tells us to consider it all joy. “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance and let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

What do you think about this thought? We know suffering and or trials are needed, that is very plain in scripture. We know the ultimate goal is for us to be more like Jesus. So what about this, imagine a scale from 1 to 10. Jesus is 10 and you and I are at 1. I know if we really had a scale like this it would be 1 to a zillion but for simplicities sake we will use 1 to 10.

We get saved and become a one, it takes salvation to even get us on the scale. When we read our Bible, attend Church and do the normal Christian things we move up a notch or 2 on the scale. We are heading in the right direction, becoming more like Jesus.

Some move up easier and faster, some really struggle and sometimes even seem to back up on the scale a little. But no matter how we move or where on the scale we get, we eventually stop. We hit the dead end, and it’s not at 10. Why? Because it takes suffering to produce perfection. “Although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered. and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him. “
Also consider this, “Therefore, since Christ has suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same purpose, because he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin,”

Suffering must come to make us more like Jesus. This is not an option. You and I will hit a point on the scale when without suffering we move up no more. It may be at level 2 for me and level 8 for you, but it will come. God in His Sovereignty knows when each of His servants are at the point. I believe each of us must hit that wall, reach that level when we are done advancing without His intervention. Really it takes His intervention at all levels and all moves, but He can use other things at lower levels. The higher we move up, the more we become like Jesus. Jesus was perfect. Perfection is not easy to obtain, especially when you start with something so messed up to begin with, like me.

So we must train and prepare. Build this house on The Rock, so that WHEN the storms come we are ready. We need to be ready to come out of the refiner’s furnace as pure gold without spot or blemish. Those of us who are not at the suffering stage yet, or have survived a round or two already have a job to do. It is stated in the verse below, may we be a comfort, and may I be a comfort to my hurting brothers and sisters in Christ.

“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”

Brennan Manning

Brennan Manning writes in his book The importance of being foolish, how to think like Jesus.
"To ascertain where you really are with the Lord, recall what saddened you this past month. Was it the realization that you do not love Jesus enough? That you did not seek His face in prayer enough? Or did you get depressed over a lack of respect, criticism from an authority figure, your finances, a lack of friends, fears about the future, or your bulging waistline?"

Lord, please forgive me for being saddened by the wrong things!

Joe Stack

In case your not up to speed on Joe Stack here you go. Joe just caught his house on fire today, possibly with his 12 year old stepdaughter and wife in it. He then got in a plane and flew it into an IRS building. I just read his suicide note and am in awe. I am sorry for Joe Stack. Sorry that he felt the world was out to get him. He speaks against the Catholic Church, government and many others. He has reminded me of why we should seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. Could this world get us down? Absolutely! Should it lead us to the conclusions that Joe Stack came too? No way! Even the homeless in this country are in better shape than huge amounts of people in this world. If a Joe Stack had been born in Africa or Haiti to different circumstances what would his life have been like? What is it that causes all of us to chase some elusive dream of wealth until we get it or it drives us crazy? Or we give up and realize that life consists in more than the abundance of our possessions.

I am so sorry for people that don't have the love of Jesus Christ to help them think. The mind of Christ is the only way to process this world. The pain and suffering some go through takes my breath away. I am not talking about the pain and suffering of Joe Stack and those like him. I am talking about the pain and suffering of some who watch little children die in front of their very eyes and can do nothing to help them. The pain of losing your children or watching them suffer could surely send most over the edge. So many in this world truly suffer and seem to have every human reason to say why me Lord? But it's not usually those who snap. It's not those who's day to day existence requires herculean strength that snap. It's not those dealing with the special hardships of having handicapped children or children with cancer or spouses with Alzheimer's that snap. Most of the time it's those who many would say are doing OK with life. Yes financial problems can drain us. Yes losing jobs suck. But may I never get anything in my life that I can't handle losing. I want no job, no home, nothing that so captivates me that I would rather die or kill than lose it.
May God lead the Joe Stacks of the world to people who love God and love others. May we speak words of life to those who are hurting so badly. I am sorry Joe that you never seem to have found the peace that surpasses all understanding. Lord help us do a better job of reaching the Joe's of this world.

God's timing

God's timing is perfect right? We have always heard that. I was saved over 13 years ago. I think that I instantly knew that I was going to run a ministry. Within the 1st year I was calling people at other ministries and seeing about getting involved or partnering with them. How crazy is that, I just got saved and I am thinking God wants me to start a ministry? Maybe just plain arrogance? Sit down and shut up and learn rookie?Nothing happened? I see the wisdom in that so clearly now. I am so different now. Still a work in progress but headed in the right direction I think. I really just let the idea of a ministry go. I got involved in the Church and served. It was 5 years or more and The James Gang Ministry was started at the Church I was a member of. Then at the 10 plus year mark Northland Compassion Ministries was started. A real 501 (c) (3) parachurch ministry and I am so excited with what God is doing in NCM. His timing is perfect. His timing is not what I wanted in my flesh. I had very little choice in this it seemed, I wanted it. God said not now.

I would have so messed up this ministry 10 years ago. I may even mess it up today. But it will at least take longer ha ha. Oh that I could rest in God's timing, His plan for me. I know the plans I have for you.........He tells us. If God has spoken to you, given you a vision, it may be coming later. Don't give up. Let Him prepare you for what He is calling you to. I think it makes sense that the vision comes before the training. Train with the vision in mind. If I had done that I would be a better leader today. The process is as important or maybe more important than the result? The result will be you and me more like Jesus. Then God placing us were He wants us. That's a very good place to be!

Michelle

Went out to a youth dentention center last night. We help hold a Bible study on Wednesday nights. Last night was going to be different. Two girls had birthday's so we had a fellowship night. One of the young girls in the group, Michelle just had a Job experience. On Monday she lost her 4 month old son, 2 month old cousin, sister and grandma in a house fire. A group leader told me that all of those people had visted her just a couple of days before and now they are gone.


We had a group of 15 or so on one side of the room having a great fellowship. Michelle on the other side in the deepest mourning anyone could imagine. What a contrast. My body was on the fellowship side but my mind and heart were on the other side with Michelle. I know many in the group felt the same way. But we did not want to cross that line, that barrier that she had put up. She wanted to be alone and understandibly so.


What could I have said anyway? God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life? Could I have taken her through the ten commandments and shown her what a sinner she was? Sometimes my theology just goes out the door. I don't get it.


But the good thing is this. I don't have to get "it". HE has it. He has me. He has Michelle. Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him......may He show Himself faithful in Michelle's life, like He has in mine. May she come to know His love, His heart, His Son. May no one offer her some proof text, some perfectly laid out theological lesson to explain the unexplainable God. May no one offer her God in a box. He just doesn't fit. I think I need to just weep with those who weep.

As iron sharpens iron,

As iron sharpens iron,so one man sharpens another.
I am so thankful that God is letting me see His word being fulfilled in my life.
I am also amazed that we (Men) try it alone so often.
Why?

Why have I reached the better than half point of my life without one really close Christian brother? And worse yet, why have I not really cared about that?
Yet, I know I am not alone in this. I have heard too many men say the exact thing.
I also don't think that most of us know what we mean when we say "close"
What am I looking for or what should I be looking for? I am in a weird spot, God has placed me into a circle. Men who not only say they have close Christian brothers, but they define what that means. Something inside me stirs. I need that. I want that.
It takes a lot of work to be a man. Most of that work involves fixing what I messed up. It will sure be nice to have some help.

No mind has conceived

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. 1 Cor 2:9-10

I was sitting last night at the Casting Crowns concert and I had the thought that this is what Heaven must be like. The crowd was singing and it sounded so good. A sound you can't get on any CD. A sound that only comes when you place thousands of people together. I have
heard this sound many times, at other concerts.

I heard this sound 13 years ago at Stand in the Gap in Washington DC.
Promise Keepers gathered hundreds of thousands of men together, to learn and worship. Hundreds of thousands of men can SING! Even with me in the mix. Last night at the concert this verse came to my mind. I thought to myself, if no mind can conceive of what God has prepared then maybe this is not what Heaven will be like?

This morning I looked at the verse again and realized I had not remembered all the verse. I could have very well been getting just a small glimpse of what Heaven might be like. The part of the verse I forgot was that "God has revealed it to us by his Spirit"
My mind couldn't get it, but my spirit could! Even now God whispers, if you liked that Dave, your going to be blown away for about a million years! Wait until the Angels join in. Wait until men and women from every tribe, tongue and nation join in! Hallelujah! Come quickly Lord Jesus!

Revelation part 2

We never seem to need a loud clear calling from God to buy a new car or boat or home. But to serve more we even get warned by well meaning Christians, “not everyone is called into fulltime ministry”. Really? But seek ye first the Kingdom of God sounds like a priority that is pretty high on the list. I find that so many seem to be called to chasing the American dream of owning a bunch of crap. I took on that calling without much encouragement from God. Why do I fear a slightly foggy calling that says, tell more people about Jesus, do more good. Spend time on what’s important to Me.

So here is the plan. Start preparing like you’re a fulltime minister of the Most High God. You may be a fulltime minister with kids that need fed. Or a fulltime minister with laundry that needs done. You even may be a fulltime minister that must work at a job like tent making to pay some bills. But from here on out I am a fulltime minister, an Ambassador of Christ. I report for duty every day rain or shine. I have been saying to God the wrong things. I have been saying get me out of debt with a lottery win or some other windfall and I am ready. Send me a vision or let me hear a loud voice.

I have been given a vision, a vision of a beloved Son on a Cross. I have been given a revelation that is several hundred pages and 66 books. I have just not been doing what the vision demands and the revelation plainly says. But today for a split second I heard a still small voice and I know what He said.

Revelation part 1

I received a revelation from God today I think. You may think it was just a thought or me coming to my senses, but it was so quick it was weird? I have for awhile now maybe even years felt a calling to do more ministry. Maybe even do it fulltime? I was doing some reading via Google on what that calling might feel like etc.
I even have talked with a couple fulltime Ministers about how they were called into the ministry. I have wondered like many, is God calling me into fulltime ministry? Am I hearing Him correctly? What is the difference between me who works fulltime in a secular field and someone who works fulltime in a ministry related field? I worried that it might be disobedience on my part? Or even self aggrandizement? I just think God wants me out there fulltime? God may be saying, Dave you do enough damage part time ha ha.
A real struggle going on in me that I couldn’t really get a good clear answer in my soul or from others.

Then today in a split second this came to me. Do you really think God would ever get mad at anyone who started doing more for His glory? Do you really think God would say, “hey you need to work more why don’t you take on an extra part time job in a secular field. I want you spending more time making money”. I should be spending more time preparing myself for fulltime ministry. This includes a lot for me. More prayer, more study, more reading and less TV. Getting out of debt so I don’t lose everything I have in a rash move. You see at times I think we think that God would be displeased at anyone who desired to spend the majority of their time in ministry related endeavors. In other words do we need to make sure you have the right calling from God before you serve too much?